how can u be prego again
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
