Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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