I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Randomize
