i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
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