shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
wakey wakey hands off snakey
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
