he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
