was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
