i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
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