Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
We got so high we made milksteak
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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