Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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