fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
Randomize
