Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Randomize
