And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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