i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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