My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
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