A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
This beer is not sobering me up at all
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
