Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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