wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
