yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
My friends, they love my intelligence
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
