Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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