that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Randomize
