I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
