I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
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