It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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