He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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