At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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