I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
