She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
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