no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
