Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Randomize
