The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
