i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
it was like eating out sand paper
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Randomize
