Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
