Sry I called you an 8
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
