i jhust puked up my retainher.
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Randomize
