just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
