i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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