Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
