i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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