OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I love having hate sex.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
50% drunk capacity currently
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
