this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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