You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
