i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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