Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
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