You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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