so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
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