PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Randomize
