Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
