sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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