Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I just cut my nipple shaving
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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