butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
