She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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